World AIDS Day

I’m not sure if you have been reading the news, but today, December 1^st, is World AIDS Day.  According to one news article I read, the intention of World AIDS Day is to raise awareness and money for research and medical care with the intention of eliminating the disease by 2030.  While an admirable goal, I think it will be difficult to obtain.  Here’s why:

When I was in Congo eight months ago one of the men I met told me that Congolese are more concerned about Ebola than AIDS.  Given our current predicament in Africa with Ebola, this seems poetic.  Back in April when I heard this I thought that was rather foolish.  Now, seeing how quickly Ebola spreads and how difficult it is to contain in Africa, where sanitation is grossly lacking, I understand his reasoning.  Nevertheless, I was surprised by his laissez-faire attitude toward the risk of HIV/AIDS.

Another man I met in Congo told me how AIDS was not a problem because, “we use the condom.”  Well, not long after that I learned what that meant.  The government and NGOs in Congo- Congo reportedly has more NGOs and UN Peacekeepers that anywhere else on earth- have launched nationwide campaigns to “condomize.”  That’s right, it’s so important we made it a verb!  While safe sex propaganda is everywhere in Africa it turns out there is a problem with the marketing message.  As someone who teaches Marketing, perhaps we need to be a little more direct.  Olivier went on to explain that in order to please their government, they wear condoms.  But, the whole point of sex is to join together bodily fluids.  So in order to achieve both goals, they wear condoms, but first cut they tip off so that bodily fluids may be exchanged. WHAT THE #&$*?????  Yes, that was my reaction too.

As I was telling my class last week, the good thing is that no one actually dies from AIDS in Africa.  Before I moved to Africa I had to take a physical.  As mandated by the Botswana government, I was required to have a TB test to enter the country.  Without the test I could not become a resident.  Sitting in the doctor’s office in Lubbock my doctor thought this was ludicrous.  “I can’t imagine they care if you bring this into the country, if anything, shouldn’t we be concerned about you being exposed to it while you are there?” she asked.  My doctor couldn’t even remember the last time she had administered the test, and as a result, filled out the form incorrectly. I ended up having to return a second time to get retested. But as I was saying no one in Africa dies from AIDS.  No, not at all.  But TONS of people die from TB.

You know, “The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club?”  Well, it’s kind of the same deal.  We talk endlessly about HIV/AIDS- go to this workshop, get tested, read this brochure, tell your friends.  Yet no one actually has it and no one dies from it.  I can’t tell you how many funerals I have been invited to (in Africa), where someone has died from TB.  Answer: A LOT.   People willingly talk about and show evidence if they DON’T have it, but AIDS patients in Africa are like unicorns, everyone has heard about it, but never actually seen one before.

As I was saying, I think the desire to eradicate AIDS in the next 15 years is admirable.  However, I have little hope that this can be achieved because I think there are a number of cultural barriers which make this a serious challenge.  I should also mention that perhaps the most significant explanation for why I think this will fail is because this is a “preaching to the choir” sort of situation.  In Botswana there is at least one newspaper article every week about HIV/AIDS.  Guess how many newspapers in Botswana ran front page articles about World AIDS Day? Not one.

In case you were interested, here are some of the medical PR campaigns I’ve seen around Africa.  Sleep under a mosquito net to avoid malaria:

Get your Yellow Fever vaccination:

Use a condom:

And this is also related to HIV/AIDS and methods to prevent the transfer of the disease from mother to baby during birth:

Ebola in the U.S.: MINOR PROBLEM

If you had to choose, which would you rather have: access to the Internet? Or access to a toilet (i.e. indoor plumbing)?

Yesterday the Washington Post published an article stating that 4.4 billion people around the world still don’t have Internet.  The thing about living abroad is that your perspective changes, without you putting in any effort at all. Upon reading that headline I immediately thought to myself: So what?! Several billion people don’t have access to toilets!  If I had to choose one, I would opt for sanitation and hygiene over a virtual update of Kimye’s most recent scandals any day.

I admit the Internet is useful.  I no longer own a bound dictionary because I can use dictionary.com.  When I was learning to drive a manual on the left side of the road, I watched youtube videos for practice. And naturally, as a professor, I use the Internet every day before I teach to see if there are any current events related to my class which I should discuss with my students.  Yes, the Internet is great.  But I don’t think the fact that two-thirds of the world population is sans Internet is all that unfortunate.  According to The World Bank, only 24% of Sub-Saharan Africa has electricity.  You can’t have Internet without at least some access to electricity.  But Obama’s Power Africa initiative is a foolish endeavor (read: DISASTER) which I will save to address a different day.

World Toilet Day is celebrated annually on November 19^th aimed at bringing attention to the need for behavior change and policy implementation “to end open-air defecation.”  Currently, more than 2.5 billion people worldwide do not have access to toilets.  This means they have to relieve themselves in the open.  For those living in rural areas, individuals can try to find somewhere secluded, but this is a security risk.  If you remember that rash of rapes and murders in India recently, many of those occurred because girls had no access to latrines, forcing them to go out into fields to relieve themselves, and there they were easy prey for violent attacks. However, many of these people without access to toilet facilities don’t live strictly in rural areas; many live in incredibly crowded slums in the inner-cities.

When I was in Sierra Leone a few years ago I visited Kroo Bay, one of the largest slums in Freetown, the nation’s capital.  In one Kroo Bay neighborhood 15,000 people live in very cramped quarters with access to four, FOUR (4!) toilets.  Also, it should be noted these are long drops, not toilets with running water.  If you are unfamiliar with a long drop please read my previous post here.  If you would like to see some photos of the Kroo Bay neighborhood, check out this BBC article (be sure to click through the pictures).

The lack of toilets, running water and sanitation is why Africa has an Ebola problem.  When I was in Kroo Bay there was an outbreak of cholera, leprosy was rampant, and the life expectancy was, and still is, 35 years.  Everyone is concerned about Ebola coming to America.  The simple truth is, this should not be a problem here and it should be halted immediately without significant concern.

As Americans we are fortunate.  We have access to running water, thus we can use flush toilets and wash our hands.  We wear shoes, therefore we don’t have to worry about walking around barefoot and potentially stepping in someone’s bodily fluids and contracting a disease.  And for the most part, we live in reasonable accommodations, not cramped living quarters where we are subject to others’ illnesses due to close proximity and the inability to quarantine ourselves (or others) when we are sick.

So, back to the original question: Would you rather have access to the Internet or to a toilet?  I know this may be a tough one for some of you, but try to consider the facts I mentioned above.

Here is a picture I took when I was in Kroo Bay, Sierra Leone.  On the left side you can see a child wearing a blue and white shirt squatting and going to the “toilet.”  Also on the left you can see a woman standing up (there is a man in jeans and a white and gray shirt behind her) who is doing laundry in this creek.  And then if you look on the right side, there is a boy with a bag next to a set of stairs.  Next to that boy you can see the back end of a pig (black and white, or pink? legs and tail):

Packing Your African Bug Out Bag

I recently received a note on one of my blog posts from my friend Lisa who said that my daily stories provide excellent dinner table conversation for her and her husband.  She mentioned that her family was preparing to move to a natural disaster zone where there were occasional snake problems.  Having read about my experience with the cobra she was concerned about how to handle the situation if a snake entered her home because she couldn’t call the Botswana army to do a snake extraction in Florida.  Lisa recounted a conversation with her husband in which the two of them wondered, “What else do you think Kelly would recommend for survival in a natural disaster area?”

Back in Texas we have a faculty member on staff who is always talking about emergency preparedness and “honoring the threat.”  I’m afraid to visit his home because he describes it like a James Bond type of hideout.  Apparently he has a giant knife, hand grenades or a rocket launcher hidden behind every door, including under the sink of his guest bathroom.  In addition, Dr. Bond likes to discuss the importance of a Bug Out Bag in his classes.  For those of you who may be less familiar, a Bug Out Bag is basically a bag which you always have packed and ready to go at a moment’s notice in the event you have to evacuate unexpectedly due to an emergency.  Here are the contents of my Bug Out Bag, which I also travel with, here in Africa:  

1. Duct Tape.  Duct tape can be used to plug holes in screens to keep the mosquitoes out, to hold your luggage together when it gets ripped, or to keep you from bleeding to death.  I once cut my hand badly on a tin roof.  It was a Sunday afternoon so there were no hospitals open and I was leaving on a flight to Amsterdam the next morning.  No matter what I did the cut wouldn’t stop bleeding.  I duct taped a washcloth around my hand until I got to Amsterdam and could get stitches. 

2. Wedding Ring.  Since I can’t travel with my fake husband I can at least travel with my fake wedding ring.  I am also 11 weeks pregnant and have been exactly 11 weeks pregnant for over a year now.  Fidelity is not taken seriously here, so saying you have a husband and showing the ring as proof does not deter very aggressive, unwanted advances.  But motherhood is highly respected.  Plus research shows that if a woman tells her rapist she is pregnant her attacker is less likely to complete the assault, so I have used this little fib as a preemptive warning in a few particularly scary situations.

3. Hand Sanitizer and Toilet Paper.  Nine times out of ten it is more hygienic to use a bush to relieve yourself than to use a public toilet if you are outside the confines of your home/hotel.  But when you are in the middle of the African bush there are no toilets anyway, so you have to use a bush regardless.  Might as well be prepared. 

4. Needles, Malaria Medication, Vaccination Card, Water Purification Tablets.  Fortunately I haven’t had to use the needles yet (fingers crossed I will make it out of here and not need to), but I always bring them with me because you never know what kinds of medical supplies will be available in the event of an emergency.  

5. U.S. Dollars in small denominations.  I think I’ve mentioned corruption a few times before.  The good thing is, if someone is going to bribe you they are more likely to accept U.S. dollars than any other currency.  When I came to Africa this time I brought $5,000 in small bills; I’ve used most of them.  

6. Head Lamp and Lighter.  You may have heard in passing that we have problems with electricity.  Or you may be stuck in a four-star hotel with electricity, but no light bulbs in the sockets.  If you can’t find something safe to set on fire with the lighter then you can always use your headlamp. 

7. Facial Wipes and Goggles.  I think I may have also mentioned once or twice that we have lots of problems with water throughout Africa.  Sometimes you have water, sometimes you don’t.  Sometimes you have water, but it’s dangerous if you get it in your eyes.  In that case you wear goggles in the shower and then wash your eyes out with bottled water or use facial wipes.  

8. Laundry Detergent and Sink Stopper.  The important instruction here is DO NOT USE WHITE LAUNDRY DETERGENT!  White powder=drugs.  So I use blue laundry detergent.  Depending on where I am travelling I often take only three or four sets of clothes and wash them by hand in my sink each night.  But you need to be careful because in many countries you have to iron ALL YOUR CLOTHES in order to kill the mango fly eggs.  If the mango fly eggs hatch on your clothes they burrow under your skin and you can literately feel them moving around underneath the surface.  Then you have to go to the doctor to have them cut out. As a general rule this is not fun. 

9. Sporf, Pens, Tweezers and Nail Clipper. It’s always a good idea to travel with a sporf (spoon-fork-knife combo), because you never know when you might need an eating utensil and there won’t be any available.  Same goes for pens.  Somehow, no one EVER has a writing instrument.  If you don’t bring your own don’t bother asking for one because no one else will have one either.  Since you can’t travel with scissors, tweezers and nail clippers are good alternatives; you can use them when you need to cut something.

I think that pretty much wraps up my African Bug Out Bag.  Though I would recommend snacks as well.  With all the food shortages we have here you can’t be guaranteed you will find something you want/need when you want/need it.  With that being said, here is one final piece of advice concerning snacks:  If you are driving down the road and see a lone orange tree off to the side with giant oranges on it that look SO GOOD just keep driving.  There is a reason no one else has come along and picked them off sooner.  Why?  Land mines.

HAPPY PACKING!

Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

Yesterday I wrote about how I’ve become very familiar with so many of the diseases we have here in Africa.  Someone wrote a comment on my blog asking me how to treat all of those diseases.  I have found there seems to be one blanket treatment for every possible ailment here:

Whether it is a broken arm, gingivitis, an ear infection or gastrointestinal problems due to drinking the water Hoofpyntablettes are the cure!  No really, I’ve had friends with all of these problems, and that’s exactly what’s been prescribed, every single time. I’ve taken Hoofpyntablettes many times for headaches, and seldom feel much relief.  I’m not sure if it is because the dose is so low or the lack of confidence instilled by the funny name.

I Earned my M.D. in Africa

It seems like everyone has an opinion about titles.  Some people take them very seriously, others not so much.  I know some Ph.D.s who use always use the salutation Dr. on everything.  “I am not Mr., I am Dr. Smith.”  Funny story about Dr. Smith.  He once registered as Dr. Smith at a hotel.  In the middle of the night he received a call from the front desk when another guest in the hotel was in the midst of a heart attack.  He learned his lesson.

From time to time my Dad likes to call my office and ask for Dr. Phelan just because.  Of course, there was another time when someone introduced me as, “This is Kelly.  She is a doctor.  But she’s NOT the kind of doctor who can help people.”

Granted, a Ph.D. and an M.D. are quite different from one another.  But after my time in Africa I feel as if I should be awarded an honorary M.D. I can probably name more diseases than anyone else I know.  During my travels throughout Africa I have become acquainted with the following:

African Trypanosomiasis- a.k.a. African Sleeping Sickness.  This is a parasitic disease spread by the teste fly.  There is no vaccine or medicine, so you have to avoid the teste fly.  It is fatal to both humans and animals.

African Tick-Bite Fever- This is a bacterial infection spread through infected ticks.  Again, no vaccine or medicine to prevent it; just avoid ticks.  Where are ticks?  Typically where you are paying hundreds of dollars to go on game drives to see wild animals.

Cholera- You know how you are supposed to wash your hands every time you use the bathroom?  This is why.  Hand washing is not widely appreciated here the way it is in other parts of the world; hence transmission occurs through ingesting food and water contaminated by feces from an infected person.

Dengue- Caused by mosquito bites.  No vaccine or preventative medication.  Do you see a pattern yet?  Good news is that you only die in severe cases.

Ebola-  Ebola is also referred to as hemorrhagic fever.  In my opinion, anything where you bleed uncontrollably is bad.

Malaria- This disease is spread through mosquito bites and most likely to kill a foreigner in Africa.  Not Africans though.  Most Africans get malaria with some amount of regularity.  They look at malaria the same way we do the flu.  For Africans, as long as you don’t get malaria when you are in a high-risk period of your life (child, pregnant mother) chances are decent you will end up developing a partial protective immunity to it.  But, it can still kill you.

Measles- Fortunately this is practically nonexistent in the U.S.  Of course, with all those celebrities spreading their anti-vaccination beliefs that could change.  I hope Jenny McCarthy plans to travel overseas with her kids NEVER.

Polio- Again, thanks to vaccinations the U.S. is considered polio-free since 1979.  Unfortunately it is making a resurgence in Africa and since it is spread person-to-person through improperly cooked food or human waste there are plenty of opportunities for one to contract it here due to the lack of sanitation standards.

Schistosomiasis- Long story short, NEVER go swimming in freshwater ANYWHERE in Africa.  Basically, if the crocodiles don’t kill you, the water will.

Tuberculosis- Coughing up blood is bad.  Enough said.

Typhoid-  I’m still not 100% sure exactly how you get Typhoid.  I just know the vaccine is only about 50-80% effective and it is rampant in Africa so you are supposed to be careful about what you eat and drink.

Yellow Fever- Seriously, these mosquitoes are a BIG problem.  Yellow fever is probably the worst mosquito-related disease in Africa as many countries won’t let you in the door without a yellow fever vaccination card and 15% of people who contract it develop serious complications including organ failure and death.

So what do you think?  Do I qualify?  Can I start calling myself Dr. Dr. Phelan now?

My Fourth HIV/AIDs Test

Chances are good that if I ever contract HIV I will know within weeks, if not days, of being infected.  Today I took my fourth HIV/AIDS test in the last eight months.  And I am happy to report that I am negative, again.

I don’t take these tests because I have a lot of fear that I’ve gotten sick.  I take these tests because others are worried.  I know I’ve mentioned HIV/AIDs several times before in blog posts, so I hate to sound like a broken record, but it is such a big part of life here that it’s impossible not to mention it.  I remember when I first travelled to Africa.  I went to Sierra Leone.  At the time I didn’t know how prevalent HIV/AIDs was, but I knew it was more common that in the U.S. To put this in perspective, in the U.S. 0.6% of the population is positive.  In Sierra Leone 1.6% of the population has HIV/AIDS. Here in Botswana the rate is 34.4%.  Turns out that Sierra Leone was practically no risk at all compared to Botswana.

I never took an HIV/AIDs test until I moved to Africa.  I’ve now taken four in less than a year.  I took my first test the second week of school.  I was coming out of the student union building on campus where there were tents set up for testing.  I saw some of my students milling around, watching people get tested.  I had a feeling they were trying to work up the courage to do it.  I walked up to the two girls, said “hi” (they looked somewhat embarrassed because they knew that I knew what they were doing) and told them I was on my way to get my test.  After filling out my paperwork and taking a seat in line, they joined me and decided to get tested themselves.

When I was in Uganda I took a boda boda tour.  One of the stops on the tour was a Baha’i temple.  While I was in the temple the driver stayed outside to chat with one of the workers there.  When I emerged from the temple they were talking about HIV/AIDs.  It turns out the temple worker was 21 years old and had been born with AIDS.  The boda boda driver had never been tested and was scared to do it.  I told him about a Peace Corps volunteer who had sex with someone ONCE and contracted HIV.  I said it was better to get tested and know so that he could get treated, rather than let it get to a point where he was too sick to do anything about it.  I offered to go with him to get tested.  At the end of the tour we stopped at a clinic and both got tested.  We were both negative.

I will be here in Africa for at least another four or five months.  At the rate I’m going that means I will probably get tested two or three more times.  I’m not a fan of needles, but I don’t hate them.  And I’m more than happy to get pricked if it will encourage others to do the same.

Here is a copy of my Status Card, which they give you when you get tested.  It’s actually a trifold card which you take with you each time you get tested so you can keep track of your status.  They recommend you carry this with you everywhere, kind of like a library card, to remind you of the risk reduction plan which is always “safe sex, always”:

Don’t Tell Anyone This, But….

When I decided to go to Botswana one of the first things I was happy about was that it was safe to drink the water.  This may sound like a minor detail, but in many countries, particularly countries in Africa, that is far from possible.  In Sierra Leone the parasites in the water were so dangerous that I wore swimming goggles when I took a shower.  I doused my face with bottled water when I woke up in the morning to wash away the morning grogginess.  And I had to have all my clothes (underwear and socks as well) ironed because despite being washed in hot water and dried in a hot dryer, it was still possible to end up with parasites which would crawl underneath your skin and have to be cut out by a doctor if it happened.  Hence, the rejoicing over being able to drink the water in Botswana.

Of course, being able to drink the water is nice, but if the water doesn’t come out of the tap that’s another story.  I’ve mentioned before water restrictions and how we only have water in our homes about three to four days a week.  We haven’t gotten as much rain as they would hope for this year, so the dam is only at about 10% capacity.

About a week ago I woke up on a Sunday morning, headed out the door to the gym and halfway there doubled over in pain and had to return home.  I spent the entire day on the couch.  I didn’t actually get sick, but I had such severe stomach cramps I had no desire to eat, move or do anything.  The discomfort continued for several days, but each day the pain lessened.  By Thursday the stomach trouble was over.

On Friday I went out with a friend.  She is an environmental lawyer with the Ministry of Minerals, Energy and Water Resources.  I told her about my past week of stomach pain and she became quiet.  She leaned over and quietly (I have NEVER seen her say anything quietly by the way) said, “Ok, don’t tell anyone this, but you shouldn’t drink the water.”  WHAT?!?!

Has anyone been following #sochiproblems?  Google it and you will be entertained for hours.  One journalist was tweeting comments and pictures from Sochi about the fact her hotel had no water.  She mentioned that she was told when the water finally came back on she shouldn’t wash her face with it because it was dangerous.  Not long after she posted a picture of two glasses of bright orange water with the caption: Now I know what dangerous face water looks like.

As I sat there listening to Tshepo tell me not to drink the water all I could think about was #sochiproblems.  I asked her to explain and she told me that about 200 kids had been hospitalized over the weekend from dangerous contaminants in the water.  But!  Here’s the important part of the story, “The government doesn’t want to cause a panic, so they aren’t putting out an official statement telling people to avoid the water.  They don’t want this made public.”  I couldn’t believe it.  I thought Botswana was a little more advanced than soviet-style censorship and putting citizens’ health in danger for PR purposes.

Good news is that I’m going to have some amazing guns by the time I get back to the U.S. because I have to walk about a mile each way to the store to buy bottled water.   And I figure I don’t want to waste the trip, so I always buy 2- 5 liter bottles.  I don’t want to be uneven or anything.

Here is the Gaborone Dam, which is really more like a puddle right about now.  All the grass you see in the foreground is typically covered in water when the dam is at the appropriate level:

Here, have a condom

Living in Africa I have learned a lot about sex.  Not necessarily from the act itself, but because it is a constant topic of conversation.  Here people make reference to sex the same way you talk about weather or sports scores back in the U.S.

For one, fidelity is rare.  I know Westerners can’t claim to always be faithful, but the prevalence and acceptance of adultery here is just so customary it is unnerving at times.  If you haven’t read about my education surrounding big and little houses here in Botswana I recommend you start there so you have the vocabulary down.  But men and women talk about little houses openly and as a necessity; men need a little house as a means of escaping the demands of a marriage; women want to be a little house because of the monetary and social benefits it bestows upon them.

Part of the problem with infidelity here is the HIV/AIDs issue.  I had a friend tell me both her parents died from HIV/AIDs.  She said her father contracted it from sleeping around.  Apparently he knew he was sick, but never told her mother.  When her father died her mother was told by the doctor about him having had HIV/AIDs and encouraged her to be tested.  By that point her mom had already contracted it and died about a year later as a result.

The infidelity, coupled with the frequency of HIV/AIDs, has resulted in what I like to call a “Condom Culture.”  I have never seen so many condoms in so many places in my life.  And when in doubt, the answer is always, “here, have a condom.”  I mentioned during a shopping trip a couple months back that I was looking for a sink stopper.  When the store clerk couldn’t figure out what I wanted he gave me a box of condoms.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but that is the answer to everything here.  The other day I was in a store and mistakenly asked for pants instead of trousers.  What did the store manager give me? That’s right, condoms.

And the “here, have a condom” slogan isn’t evident just in my apparent inability to communicate when shopping.  In the women’s restroom in my building on campus there is a box of condoms with a sign, “Help yourself.  Practice Safe Sex.”

When I first arrived in Gaborone I stayed at a hotel for a couple of nights before I was given the keys to my house.  It was a nice hotel; the front desk clerk even took me up to my room to show me the amenities.  I’m not sure whether it was part of her rehearsed script or not, but she opened the drawer to the nightstand, pointed to a handful of condoms and said, “If you need more, don’t be afraid to ask.”

But I think my favorite “Condom Culture” experience was when I drove across the Botswana-Zimbabwe border.  A group of journalist friends and I were on a visit to Chobe National Park.  As we were shuffling through the small border check point on the Botswana side I turned around after getting my entry stamp only to notice a condom dispenser.  I was so shocked I looked at it for a minute.  There was a sign on the dispenser which read, “Have a good time. Be safe.  Help yourself.”

“Are you shopping for real estate? Or a girlfriend?”

I know I’ve mentioned a few times before that I belong to a gym, but I didn’t realize until recently that it is atypical of women to work out here.  Back in the U.S. I’ve been in Zumba classes with 50 or even 100 other women.  But here I seldom see women at the gym.  I didn’t actually take notice of this fact until I needed to buy a pair of shorts.  Last week I went to countless stores in three different malls trying to find women’s gym shorts.  Each time I asked someone about them they looked at me as if I was crazy.  I finally asked why it was impossible to find them and was told, “Women here just don’t work out.  There is no need for us to carry gym shorts for women.”

After receiving this explanation, being a researcher by trade, I decided to launch my own investigation.  Over the past week I’ve spent about 12 hours in the gym.  During that time I have seen a total of 14 women and approximately 600 men.  Thus, the retailers are correct, it’s more to their benefit to sell men’s gym clothes as opposed to women’s apparel.

Over the last three months I do not recall ever once being in the weight room and seeing another female there, which probably explains why I tend to get an unusually high amount of attention when I enter that space.  Thankfully after my first venture into the weight room back in August I silenced all whisperings about my presence.  I guess deadlifting 120% of your body weight will do that.  Now when I arrive everyone just says “Hi” and then seems to forget I’m there.  This means I am often privy to overhearing some unique male Batswana conversations. I am receiving quite an education.

A recent conversation centered around someone’s “big house” and “little house.” I was impressed this bodybuilder (yes, bodybuilder; he is competing in this month’s Mr. Botswana competition) had two houses.  But the more I “inadvertently overheard” this conversation the more confused I became. Apparently “little house” had become too demanding, which was causing “big house” to become suspicious.  Hmmmmm……

I was beginning to think I was going to have to approach the professor with whom I co-teach to clear up the “little house/ big house” confusion.  Thankfully, another solution revealed itself.  One day the bodybuilder approached me, informed me he was looking for a new “little house,” and was I interested in the position?  Or, if I wasn’t interested in being the “little house” would I like to “kick it” sometime? (“Kick it” was actually completely new terminology, so that was even more exciting!) Ah-ha!  This was my opportunity.  “I’m sorry, I’m confused.  What’s the question? Are you shopping for real estate? Or a girlfriend?”

Fortunately my charming personality overshadowed my naivety and he enlightened me as to Botswana’s dating/cheating/“let me sex you up” vocabulary:

“Big house” is your main, public relationship.  This is the husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend that everyone knows you have.

The “little house” is your “someone on the side.” This person is a secret from “big house” and everyone else.  The “little house” is aware there is a “big house” and that “big house” better NEVER find out about the existence of the “little house.”

For those individuals who prefer to forego the commitment level of being a “big house” or a “little house” there is always the option of “kicking it” which is different from “hanging.” “Hanging” is platonic, while “kicking it” is no strings attached sex.

At the conclusion of his “sexual healing” lecture in the middle of the weight room, my aspiring Mr. Botswana friend asked what I thought, “So, would you like to be my little house?” I have no doubt I had a huge smile on my face as I was desperately trying not to laugh.  “YES! I would LOVE to be your little house! How could a girl turn down an offer like that? I’ve dreamed of this opportunity my WHOLE LIFE!”  (Just kidding, I did NOT say that.)  “No thank you, I don’t think I can be your little house.  I am currently in a negotiation with a potential big house and don’t want to risk messing it up this early. But! Can I have your phone number? I have a friend who would love to meet you.” “Really? Sure!” “Oh no! Please don’t get excited, she’s not going to be your little house either.  She is a researcher of sexual behavior in communities with high incidence of HIV/AIDs infection.  She would LOVE to hear about this.”

Without answering me he turned and walked away. I think I may have crushed his hopes.  Too bad, because he and I used to “hang.”  I may have to find myself a new spotter now.

No electricity at home

I am sitting here in my office because there’s no electricity in my house.  Yes, I did pay the power bill, but as I’ve mentioned before, we have rolling blackouts, water rationing, and a host of other “Third World” problems you don’t typically think about.  Since all the blog posts I would normally write now have pictures associated with them and I didn’t bring my camera with me to download those pictures, I am forced to consider another alternative for today’s post.

I always get random questions from people asking me about daily life: What do you eat?  Or what do you miss? Or, are there working toilets in the bathrooms or is it just a hole in the ground?  I think I will save all of those for another day, but today I am going to share with you some pictures I took over the last six weeks that I haven’t posted previously.

Here in Botswana we have medical services.  So don’t worry Mom!  Here is an ambulance:

We also have bouncy castles, and clowns:

We have very scary thorn bushes which are especially scary when you are riding your bike.  I’ve had a couple of close calls, but thankfully I’ve hadn’t had to test out the ambulance… yet:

We have dinner, err, I mean, pets.  This is Bob.  He is a neighbor’s pet, but chances are he will be dinner sometime in the near future.  If I have the pleasure of cooking Bob I will let you know:

And we have kids.  I actually do NOT know these children.  But I find that any time I take out my camera kids come running up to me and asking me to take their picture.  They don’t want a picture WITH me like when I was in China, they just want me to take their picture.  So, I guess in that case we have aspiring celebrities practicing for the future paparazzi that will follow them around:

Counting your blessings, for 26 years

When I worked at Walt Disney World, which is widely known as “The Happiest Place on Earth,” I was surprised at how often people’s expressions and body language conveyed a more despondent emotion.  I remember more than once walking past a family where the kids were crying and the parents arguing with one another.  Inevitably they would be in the process of taking a picture.  I distinctly recall a mother screaming at her daughter telling her to, “Look at the camera and smile! You are going to be happy whether you like it or not!”

I’m not sure how many of you reading this have seen the UN’s 2013 World Happiness Report.  The report is sponsored by the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network.  In theory the report is intended to give politicians insight into the well-being of its citizens when making policy decisions.  According to the report happiness was defined as both an emotion and one’s outlook regarding his or her life as a whole. Six variables in total are utilized to formulate the ranking: GDP per capita, years of healthy life expectancy, perceptions of corruption, social support, generosity and the freedom to make life choices.

In case you were curious I found it interesting that 9 out of the top 10 happiest countries were in cold climates.  Perhaps that’s because people there have to spend a lot of time indoors with others so they either grown to enjoy their companions over time or they lower their expectations.  Some may be surprised to hear the US was ranked 17^th, behind Israel (11) and Mexico (16)!

Out of 156 countries included in the ranking, Botswana was #145.  Swaziland (100), Zimbabwe (103), Iraq (105), Iran (115), Congo (117) and even Afghanistan (143) are allegedly happier than we are here.  Given this list I have to be a little skeptical.  At least we can rest easy knowing we are 3 spots ahead of Syria (148).

While GDP and social support is high, and corruption is very low, life expectancy in Botswana is probably what warranted the low ranking.  In 1990 the life expectancy in Botswana was 65, but has fallen to only 53, primarily due to the HIV/AIDs rate.  In the US the life expectancy is 79 years.  A 26 year difference is a long time!

Just as a matter of full disclosure, I did not read the full 156 pages in the report.  But I skimmed the abstract and looked at most of the tables.  But for everyone out there, better get smiling.  After if someone from the UN approaches you and asks you to take a survey about your happiness take some advice from Duck Dynasty, “HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!”

Malaria medication & HIV/AIDs testing with a side of perspective

Each semester at Texas Tech the Student Recreation Center holds Health & Wellness Screenings.  During these events students, faculty and staff can get their cholesterol checked, see if their thyroid is functioning properly, and get a number of other blood tests to see if anything is amiss.  If any of the tests come back with less than desirable results participants can make appointments with their personal physicians in hopes of designing a course of treatment.

This week here on campus we are having our own screenings, for HIV/AIDs.  The theme for the event is “I took the first step… I know my HIV status.”  All week long students can visit one of the five locations on campus and get tested.  Here is one of the mobile testing locations:

And here students are waiting to be tested:

Since nearly 1/4 of the population (1 in 3 adults) here has HIV/AIDs you frequently hear reference to this illness.  The “know your status” saying is a common topic of conversation and widely promoted.  Yesterday I was teaching a research methods class full of physical education students.  While discussing different types of questions to ask on a survey a student raised his hand and suggested asking participants about their HIV/AIDs status.  Before coming here that was something which would have never occurred to me.

While the HIV/AIDs testing is not a personal concern to me, I am involved in my own health issues here.  Today marks the beginning of 17 days of malaria medication for me. Friday morning I leave Botswana to attend the United Nations World Tourism Organization General Assembly which is being co-hosted by Livingstone City, Zambia and Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.  Due to the prevalence of malaria in both these destinations I am taking medication as a precaution.  According to the World Health Organization there were 219 million malaria cases and 660,000 malaria deaths in 2010, most of which are in Africa.  However, malaria mortality has dropped almost 25% in the last decade due to awareness, treatment and prevention.

Having both of these health concerns at the forefront of my mind this week certainly puts things into perspective.   Back home neither of these illnesses would typically cross my mind.  But here they are quite normal, not much different from having a cold or the flu.  I remember when I was in Sierra Leone one of my friends there contracted malaria.  He and his family took a very nonchalant attitude when telling me about it, “It’s no big deal.  We all get it once or twice a year.  He will be ok in a few days.” This is just another one of those almost daily reminders of why I am so appreciative for what I have.