Robbed by a one-armed bandit

By definition, a bandit is “a robber, especially one who robs at gunpoint; an outlaw; a gangster; one who cheats or exploits others.”  Or if you consult a picture dictionary a bandit would probably look something like this:

The mask, gun and bag of money does not quite describe my situation.  First of all my bandit only had one arm.

A one arm bandit is actually another term used to describe a slot machine.  As far as I’m concerned though, the slot machine/one arm bandit is also a kind of robber.  As a former employee of the Vegas casinos I should never admit that view, but it is true.  Personally, I’m not a big fan of gambling because every time I do it I feel as if I’ve been robbed. Whenever friends would come visit me in Vegas I would grudgingly agree to go with them to the casino.  Of course, when I lost five dollars on my first hand I would get all bent out of shape and think to myself, “I could have just bought lunch with that money!”  That’s probably why they don’t call it gambling anymore.  Now it’s referred to as gaming.  Gambling has a negative connotation and suggests it is a vice.  By contrast, gaming refers to recreation, entertainment and amusement.

Either way, this was not my one arm bandit:

THIS was my one arm bandit:

If you couldn’t tell, look closely at his left arm.  See, no hand, and only half of that arm.

And I’m pretty sure I know how he got that way.  He stole something from someone and they chopped it off as a punishment.  However, he did not learn his lesson because he broke into my place and stole from me too!  Granted, it was an apple, but still.

Here he is escaping:

This took place in my hotel in Zim last week.  I was eating an apple, put it on the table, walked into the bathroom, came back and he was sitting on the table eating the apple.  He escaped without the apple when I showed up, but I felt bad for him, so I tossed the apple out to him so he could finish it.  I know you aren’t supposed to feed the animals, but he had already started into it, so I figured I might as well let him enjoy it.

The hotel where I was staying had at least half a dozen one-armed monkeys.  I asked around the staff and they told me there were two reasons.  Either the monkey had gotten attacked by a crocodile, of which there were many on the property and apparently this happens quite often.  Or the monkey had indeed been caught stealing and was punished for it with the loss of an arm.

Regardless of the method by which the monkeys lost their arms, they had no problem climbing trees and getting around.  They say that nature finds a way, and I think this just proves that sentiment is true.