Packing Your African Bug Out Bag

I recently received a note on one of my blog posts from my friend Lisa who said that my daily stories provide excellent dinner table conversation for her and her husband.  She mentioned that her family was preparing to move to a natural disaster zone where there were occasional snake problems.  Having read about my experience with the cobra she was concerned about how to handle the situation if a snake entered her home because she couldn’t call the Botswana army to do a snake extraction in Florida.  Lisa recounted a conversation with her husband in which the two of them wondered, “What else do you think Kelly would recommend for survival in a natural disaster area?”

Back in Texas we have a faculty member on staff who is always talking about emergency preparedness and “honoring the threat.”  I’m afraid to visit his home because he describes it like a James Bond type of hideout.  Apparently he has a giant knife, hand grenades or a rocket launcher hidden behind every door, including under the sink of his guest bathroom.  In addition, Dr. Bond likes to discuss the importance of a Bug Out Bag in his classes.  For those of you who may be less familiar, a Bug Out Bag is basically a bag which you always have packed and ready to go at a moment’s notice in the event you have to evacuate unexpectedly due to an emergency.  Here are the contents of my Bug Out Bag, which I also travel with, here in Africa:  

1. Duct Tape.  Duct tape can be used to plug holes in screens to keep the mosquitoes out, to hold your luggage together when it gets ripped, or to keep you from bleeding to death.  I once cut my hand badly on a tin roof.  It was a Sunday afternoon so there were no hospitals open and I was leaving on a flight to Amsterdam the next morning.  No matter what I did the cut wouldn’t stop bleeding.  I duct taped a washcloth around my hand until I got to Amsterdam and could get stitches. 

2. Wedding Ring.  Since I can’t travel with my fake husband I can at least travel with my fake wedding ring.  I am also 11 weeks pregnant and have been exactly 11 weeks pregnant for over a year now.  Fidelity is not taken seriously here, so saying you have a husband and showing the ring as proof does not deter very aggressive, unwanted advances.  But motherhood is highly respected.  Plus research shows that if a woman tells her rapist she is pregnant her attacker is less likely to complete the assault, so I have used this little fib as a preemptive warning in a few particularly scary situations.

3. Hand Sanitizer and Toilet Paper.  Nine times out of ten it is more hygienic to use a bush to relieve yourself than to use a public toilet if you are outside the confines of your home/hotel.  But when you are in the middle of the African bush there are no toilets anyway, so you have to use a bush regardless.  Might as well be prepared. 

4. Needles, Malaria Medication, Vaccination Card, Water Purification Tablets.  Fortunately I haven’t had to use the needles yet (fingers crossed I will make it out of here and not need to), but I always bring them with me because you never know what kinds of medical supplies will be available in the event of an emergency.  

5. U.S. Dollars in small denominations.  I think I’ve mentioned corruption a few times before.  The good thing is, if someone is going to bribe you they are more likely to accept U.S. dollars than any other currency.  When I came to Africa this time I brought $5,000 in small bills; I’ve used most of them.  

6. Head Lamp and Lighter.  You may have heard in passing that we have problems with electricity.  Or you may be stuck in a four-star hotel with electricity, but no light bulbs in the sockets.  If you can’t find something safe to set on fire with the lighter then you can always use your headlamp. 

7. Facial Wipes and Goggles.  I think I may have also mentioned once or twice that we have lots of problems with water throughout Africa.  Sometimes you have water, sometimes you don’t.  Sometimes you have water, but it’s dangerous if you get it in your eyes.  In that case you wear goggles in the shower and then wash your eyes out with bottled water or use facial wipes.  

8. Laundry Detergent and Sink Stopper.  The important instruction here is DO NOT USE WHITE LAUNDRY DETERGENT!  White powder=drugs.  So I use blue laundry detergent.  Depending on where I am travelling I often take only three or four sets of clothes and wash them by hand in my sink each night.  But you need to be careful because in many countries you have to iron ALL YOUR CLOTHES in order to kill the mango fly eggs.  If the mango fly eggs hatch on your clothes they burrow under your skin and you can literately feel them moving around underneath the surface.  Then you have to go to the doctor to have them cut out. As a general rule this is not fun. 

9. Sporf, Pens, Tweezers and Nail Clipper. It’s always a good idea to travel with a sporf (spoon-fork-knife combo), because you never know when you might need an eating utensil and there won’t be any available.  Same goes for pens.  Somehow, no one EVER has a writing instrument.  If you don’t bring your own don’t bother asking for one because no one else will have one either.  Since you can’t travel with scissors, tweezers and nail clippers are good alternatives; you can use them when you need to cut something.

I think that pretty much wraps up my African Bug Out Bag.  Though I would recommend snacks as well.  With all the food shortages we have here you can’t be guaranteed you will find something you want/need when you want/need it.  With that being said, here is one final piece of advice concerning snacks:  If you are driving down the road and see a lone orange tree off to the side with giant oranges on it that look SO GOOD just keep driving.  There is a reason no one else has come along and picked them off sooner.  Why?  Land mines.

HAPPY PACKING!

Police Report: White Woman Causes Accident on Shashe Rd

It’s really hard to be popular.  I’ve mentioned before my attempts to blend in here in Botswana have been ill received.  White people in Africa are sort of like unicorns.  You hear about them, but you can go your entire life without actually seeing one in real life.  So when you do see one you have to seize the opportunity. For Rra Mmanokowa, he finally saw his unicorn/lekogwa/white person last week.

I do not own a car, so I typically walk everywhere, take a combi, or occasionally use a taxi if I’m travelling a long distance.  Many people here walk, so this is not uncommon.  Last week I was walking to the store to purchase my groceries.  As I was walking along I saw a man driving by, practically turned all the way around in his seat to look at me.  Again, this is not uncommon.  I’ve asked other lekogwa about this, but few seem to report this phenomenon.  Apparently I am special.

However, this time I was a little bit too special.  As the driver was looking at me, he swerved into oncoming traffic and hit a car coming in the opposite direction.  You know how you are supposed to check to make sure everyone in an accident is ok?  That is the moral thing to do, right?  In Africa that is generally a bad idea.  No one here drives particularly fast, so both drivers were fine.  But as I was getting ready to continue on to the store the police arrived and insisted on taking statements from all of us.  That’s when the trouble started.

The police wrote up the traffic report stating that “a white woman walking along Shashe Road caused a traffic accident.”  Excuse me?  I most certainly did not.  How is it my fault?  Mr. Mmanokowa claimed I distracted him.  I didn’t yell anything obscene, run across the street right in front of his car or take my shirt off.  But that was how the traffic report was written.

After the accident I was required to go to court to determine whether or not I was guilty and if I should pay a fine.  Are you kidding me?!?!?!  I do have to say that court was quite an education.  After a lot of back and forth the judge finally decided I was innocent and let me go.  I’m not sure who in the end was found guilty or what kind of fine he had to pay, but I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible before they changed their minds.

I should mention however, that as I was sitting in court waiting for my trial a man was being tried for murder.  He was found guilty and made to pay a 400 Pula fine.  That is equivalent to about $50.  Nope, I did not misinterpret the sentencing or the penalty.  Though I certainly didn’t understand how murder would only cost you $50.

I started asking around about murder and the “low cost” penalty.  Apparently this is the standard practice.  Someone told me that in South Africa you have to pay about 250 Rand a month for a television license.  Inspectors randomly show up at people’s houses and if they find you have an illegal television you have to pay a 1,250 Rand fine.  However, the penalty for murder if you are found guilty is only 500 Rand.  In other words, don’t bother getting a television license and don’t worry about getting caught and having to pay the fine.  If the Inspector turns up, just kill him and pay the equivalent of two months of television licensing for the murder charge.  Yet again, TIA!