Categorical Dating

I have never been one to have a “type” in friendships or romantic relationships.  But I definitely have some friends who actively pursue significant others who fit into distinct categories.  I can think of a few girlfriends of mine who like to date men with foreign accents because they are “sexy and exotic.”  I don’t really comprehend this because I’ve seen a few cases of, “I know you think he has a ‘sexy and exotic accent’ but he doesn’t bathe, he can’t eat without spitting all over himself and everyone around him and the reason his accent is sexy is because he doesn’t speak any English at all, so you have no idea what he is saying!”

Or there are the women who like men in uniform.  Similar to the confusion I have over the accent, more than once I have said, “I don’t think the UPS delivery guy counts as a man in uniform.”  Unfortunately, and embarrassingly, I have become part of this categorical dating phenomenon.

On Monday I was invigilating a final exam.  The Math professor who was giving his exam in the same room kept approaching me and being unnecessarily friendly.  I knew where this attention was going which was disheartening as judging from the ring on his finger I was pretty sure he was married.  About 90 minutes into the exam I left to get some water.  As I re-entered the room Professor Math met me at the door and asked if I would be interested in “kicking it” sometime or perhaps even becoming his “little house.”  If you aren’t familiar with kicking it please read this blog post.  I quickly dismissed him with a stern, “No.”

At the end of the exam as we were completing paperwork a Math student approached me and asked me if I would go out with him.  Professor Math got offended, scolded the student, told him I had already been spoken for, and then looked at me as if I was to blame.  To make matters worse, the other Tourism professor with whom I was invigilating the exam came over and asked if I was ready to go home, having no clue as to the awkward conversation he was interrupting.  (To clarify, the exam ended at 9pm and it was dark out.  It isn’t safe to walk home at night, so I had already asked the Tourism professor if he could give me a ride.)  Professor Math and Student Math looked at each other as if I was cheating on both of them with Professor Tourism.

Long story short, I don’t like getting this kind of attention.  I get propositioned every day because every guy in Africa wants to be able to brag to his friends that he has been with a white girl.  Thank goodness I’m not pretty or smart or have a good personality.  In that case I don’t know how I would even be able to walk down the street without stopping traffic!  Actually, sometimes I do stop traffic.  And we all know how that turned out.  But I am definitely looking forward to not being in a preferred mate category when I do eventually return to the U.S.  Men in uniform with sexy foreign accents- I now understand the burden you must bear.